207 Orchard Ridge
by Killraven
Summary: [AU, 1xH and other pairings] The cast of GW inhabit a vintage 1930's era apartment building which has fallen into disrepair. Cameos from secondary characters (like NICHOL) galore.
1. What I Got

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters. The execs in charge at Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu, and TV Asahi do. Yay for them.   
  
Warnings: Mindless self-indulgence, AU, language, sap, possible OOC of certain characters.   
  
Summary: AU, 1xH and other pairings. The cast of GW inhabit a vintage 1930's era apartment building which has fallen into disrepair. Cameos from secondary characters (like NICHOL) galore.   
  
This is all Jilly's fault. ^_^   
  
Dedicated to all Heero/Hilde lovers out there, but especially to Onisaur (my muse), the aforementioned Jilly (my cruel slave-master =P), and Sabacat, who made me notice this pairing in the first place. You guys rock my world.   
  
  
  


_Livin' with Louie Dog's the only way to stay sane   
Let the lovin' let the lovin' come back to me   
Lovin' is what I got, I said remember that_   
-_What I Got,_ Sublime   
  
207 Orchard Ridge   
Chapter One

  
  
_Scratch… Scratch… Scribble._   
  
Pause.   
  
_Scratch… Scratch… Scribble._   
  
Dark brows knitted together into a puzzled frown as a tanned hand once again wiped away an afternoon's progress. No, no. That wasn't right at all. The variable should be on the left side of the equation, not the right. Now what to do about the logarithmic integer?   
  
"I'm not going to help you rub that calamine stuff over you if you stay in the tub much longer."   
  
A non-committal grunt sounded as the brows sagged even more, deepening the expression to the near-scowl on his face. So much for working ahead. Sitting in the old, stained porcelain tub, he had been fast at work, using the colored bath soap to scrawl out various math equations on the wall. It was a lousy way to amuse himself while soaking away the miserable existence that was life with the chicken pox, but amazingly, it had worked so far.   
  
"I mean it, Heero. I have to be at my audition in an hour. I don't have time to…" her voice trailed off as a shuffling with the distinct tinkle of jewelry sounded. "Damn it."   
  
Sighing in resignation, he closed the thick book balancing on his knee - _The Collected Utilitarian Essays of the Enlightenment_ by the title displayed proudly on the cracked binding - and reluctantly began to rise out of the lukewarm water. Mumblings of frustration could be heard faintly from the other room, sounds that he had been increasingly familiar with as of late. It seemed that the closer to audition time it grew, the crankier his girlfriend became.   
  
Ignoring the following guttural scream, he set his book down on the toilet's septic tank and took a barely-used towel from off the wooden rack. Heero had learned a long time ago that it was best to stay out of the way when Hilde was in one of her moods. It would blow over soon enough, usually when she would finally remember that last line or guilt Catherine into giving her lift down to the theater house.   
  
"Where could it have gone?! I left it right here on the dresser, next to my money!"   
  
As the saying went, there is no use in crying over spilled milk.   
  
He didn't linger in brushing the rough cotton over himself. Too much movement would prompt another inexorable itching fit to occur. For a man who had been through jungles, braved sub-artic temperatures, and crawled through a desert with a thimbleful of water all in the name of a story, a mild case of the chicken pox had reduced him to the behaviors of a three year-old. He had lost count of all the times he would have hacked off his arm with a rusty butter knife if it meant being able to scratch that itchy spot on the back of his leg until it felt better. Checking to make sure that he was dry enough to avoid breaking out into another rash, he blew a large breath through his bangs and reached to open the medicine cabinet.   
  
Almost instantaneously, an overly purple box of the latest feminine product came tumbling out into the sink. Unblinking, he glanced down at the colorful cardboard, almost studying it a long moment before wordlessly scooping out of the basin to set it back on its designated shelf. Let no one ever say that Heero Yuy was uncomfortable with who he was.   
  
"These things just don't VANISH INTO THIN AIR!"   
  
Lesser men would have fainted on the spot with the volume of the roar coming from the bedroom. Surely, those who were intelligent would have fled by now for parts safer, like the Bermuda Triangle. But Heero merely remained in his spot at the sink, impassively reaching for the tube of lotion that would grant him glorious relief. A loud crash sounded, presumably from Hilde madly throwing open the dresser drawers in her search, and he didn't even flinch. No, right now, all that mattered was the cylinder in his hands, and more importantly, the line of lotion he was squeezing from it. Sighing in relief as the cold paste came in contact with his skin, he idlely set the tube down on the arm of the sink, his free hand already moving in concentric circles across his front, massaging the lotion into his skin.   
  
"You better not be scratching yourself open again." The short, dark-haired girl frowned as she appeared in the doorway. "I told you that I've had it with constantly bandaging you up."   
  
The corner of his lips quirked up into a small smirk as he turned just enough to let her see that he was rubbing in the calamine. "You left your script book on top of the toaster," he offered as his face softened into the normal stoic stare.   
  
Hilde gave a small grumble, the muscles in her jaw twitching as she looked out through the bathroom window momentarily. "That'd be just great if it was my script book that I was looking for," she muttered quietly. Then, glancing up at him with a frustration behind her eyes, "Have you seen my promise ring? You know, the cheap one that Duo used to propose to me with after he'd fished it out of one of those arcade machines? I need it for my audition."   
  
Duo. Heero grunted at the memory and the tiny protective pang that accompanied it, remembering how desperately infatuated the braided pilot had been with Hilde. Even though she had told the American numerous times that she wasn't interested, he had still proceeded to try and woo her. A small, but annoyed frown crept over his face as his brows pulled down into an intense stare. Maxwell really needed to get a clue and give up the ghost.   
  
"I need a cheap piece of jewelry that won't matter much if it gets lost." Despite the fact that she was staring right at him, she gave no acknowledgement of his expression.   
  
"Hn. Shouldn't the company have their own props?"   
  
Her eyes narrowed as she gave him a murderous glare, a look that only made Heero realize too late how he had touched that old nerve. Hilde's patience had already been thin given the nature of the morning, and such a mistake would have left normal men as nothing more than a splatter of blood against the wall. "Look, if you want to get anywhere in the business, you need to show how enthusiastic you are. And one way of doing that is to come into the audition prepared. Hence, I'm bringing my own damn props. Okay?" With that, she huffed and turned to give him her back. "I want to be a _serious_ actress, Heero."   
  
He didn't say anything for a while, but merely watched her, his gaze unable to stop from roaming slightly south to take in the way her jeans clung to her backside in all the right places. Finally massaging the last of the lotion into his chest, he picked up the slim tube, and squeezed out another line to start working it into his arms. "I thought you gave the ring to Relena months ago."   
  
She opened her mouth, preparing to shove another biting retort back into his direction when the sudden recollection of just how the woman's face had lit up at getting such a gift hit her. Her mind instantly backpedaled, choking her words in her throat before she had a chance to voice them. She blinked a few times at the abrupt realization before her face settled down into the scowl that was becoming her trademark look this morning. "Damn it."   
  
Heero let his attention return to the task with his arms, his reaction stoic as per his personality. "You can use my gold chain if you need something in place of the ring," he quietly supplied in his ever-present monotone.   
  
The scowl having lightened to a frown with his words, Hilde waved him off before running her fingers through the short bangs on her forehead - an behavioral reaction that surfaced whenever she was nervous. "No. I'll see if Une doesn't have something that I can borrow." A strong breath tickled those very bangs, lifting them into the air for a few scant seconds before Hilde bit her lip.   
  
Instantly noting the worried expression on her face, he rubbed the remainder of the cream into his shoulder as his brows quirked in concern. Nonchalantly crossing the distance between them, another feat that would have costed an ordinary man his life, he gently laid a hand on her elbow. "I could head down to the arcade and get another ring for you." He gave a soft grunt while waiting for her to answer.   
  
Bright translucent blue irises slid to take in the look on his face. "Don't be ridiculous," she said, her mouth twisting into an incredulous expression. "You may be almost over with them, but you've still got the chicken pox. You should be getting your butt back into bed." When he grunted, she gave him a stern look. "I know you have an iron stomach, Mr. I Set My Own Broken Bones, but even you need your rest, Heero." Her nose wrinkled up into a frown. "Besides, I don't think too many people would be happy to see you down at the arcade, playing games while you're still all broken out like that."   
  
"Hn," he commented, his frown lingering on his face a moment longer before softening into an almost smirk. "Soccer moms can be deadly when gathered en masse," the delivery matter-of-fact.   
  
Despite herself, Hilde let a small chuckle bubble forth. "Ja," she replied, slipping back into her mother tongue. "I'd watch my back down there if I were you." Close to smiling herself, she gave a long sigh and checked her watch. "Yikes. I've got to get going if I want to get to the theater house a little early."   
  
He nodded once, firmly, as he started to take a few steps back to move out of her way. His girlfriend surprised him though, grabbing him by the folded-over edge of the towel and tugging him close to pull him into a strong kiss.   
  
"Mmm," she said moments later, her tongue darting out minutely to lick along her lips. "You're lucky that I already had the chicken pox as a rugrat, mister, or I wouldn't be able to do that."   
  
His mouth slid into a smirk as he gave a rare snort. "Assuming you'd be able to stay away for two weeks, that is."   
  
An eyebrow quirked as her mouth puckered into a small challenging pout. "Such a mouth on you, Yuy." With that, she drew him in for another kiss, this time leaving him sufficiently too breathless to be able to reply. "When I get back, you better be fast asleep in bed. If I catch you up, I'm going to take away all your calamine and leave you to itch and scratch yourself to death." Snickering, she added, "If you start getting restless, work on your article. We could certainly use the money." Quite satisfied with herself, she gave him a once-over, smiling mischievously to herself with the action. "I should be back around three. Remember, stay in bed."   
  
Heero watched as she pulled back and drifted out the door into the hall. Now alone in the bathroom once more, he turned back to the sink, intending to finish the task of spreading the lotion all over himself when he felt a familiar tingle around his neck. Eyes narrowing, he grunted, scowling at his reflection in the mirror as the sensation spread and intensified. His fingers twitched against the cool white porcelain of the sink.   
  
Leave it to Hilde to create enough motion to send his chicken pox aflame with another itching attack. 


	2. Sucked Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters. The execs at Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu, and TV Asahi do. Yay for them.   
  
Warnings: Mindless self-indulgence, AU, language, sap, possible OOC of certain characters.   
  
Summary: AU, 1xH and other pairings. The cast of GW inhabit a vintage 1930's era apartment building which has fallen into disrepair. Cameos from secondary characters (like NICHOL) galore.   
  
This is all Jilly's fault. ^_^   
  
Dedicated to all Heero/Hilde lovers out there, but especially to Onisaur (my muse), the aforementioned Jilly (my cruel slave-master =P), and Sabacat, who made me notice this pairing in the first place. You guys rock my world.   
  


_in your eyes you've already spread my thighs   
and you're rocking to the next big thing   
kissing the bride, 45 minutes a side   
this was my dream - played out rocking routine   
who sucked out the feeling?_   
-_Sucked Out_, Superdrag   
  
207 Orchard Ridge   
Chapter Two

  
  
"If I recall correctly, Noin, you were the one telling me that we needed to find something to spice the bedroom up with."   
  
She really loved him. She really did. She knew she did. Yet, there were days like this when she could easily give him a kick in the pants.   
  
Perhaps if she just ignored him, he would go away. Oh, she knew it was foolish to even suggest such a thing, but a girl can dream, can't she? Unfortunately, her husband was of the breed of people that would not take a hint even when it would jump out at him and bite him on that oh-so-godly behind of his. Hence, all of the brusque looks that she had been shooting him during every one of her routine maintenance calls had fallen on platinum hair and deaf ears. Why, the whole building had to know all the gritty details of their intimate lives by now!   
  
Gritting her teeth against the pounding migraine that had settled into her sinuses by now, Noin gave the order sheet a quick glance to see who she would be receiving a generous and unwanted cup of attitude from next. She was really beginning to regret taking on this position, a break in the rent rates or no. Of course, that feeling only expanded ten-fold when she saw the neat script of "W. Chang" on her list.   
  
Today was just going to be one of those days.   
  
Sighing, she resigned herself to her fate not at all unlike those such convicts on death row. Zechs, naturally, tagged along behind her as she started taking that seemingly mile-long walk down the hall to apartment 303. He continued to babble on, talking himself in circles as he tried to make his pitch. She figured that on some simple level, his futile attempts to actually help their situation could be considered as 'cute' or even as 'caring.' But the fact of the matter was that he was too wrapped up in his latest pipe dream to see that they could just not afford the massive fish tank that he was pining for.   
  
"Of course, thanks to that correspondence course, I have all the training I'd need to be able to knock out one of the bedroom walls and install the tank…"   
  
Somehow, Noin managed to keep from dropping the mallet in her hands. Even the mere mention of her husband attempting such a job caused a shiver of pure fear to run down her back. "Ah, are you sure that's such a good idea? I mean, that's the kind of thing that you need a permit for," she supplied, hoping that he'd make the obvious connection. Requesting such services from the city had an efficiency rate of a marathon runner shooting themselves in the foot right before a race.   
  
Zechs merely waved the notion off. "Getting a permit will be easy. I'll just ask Treize to draw one up for me."   
  
Oh, yes. Let us not forget about Treize Khushrenada, the neighborhood drug lord with political connections the length of the Trans-Atlantic Railroad long. The same man who didn't think anything about using Zechs as an ignorant mule for his "business transactions." The man was bad news, plain and simple. If it weren't for the fact that he owned the very building they lived in, Noin would have nothing to do with him.   
  
"Sweetie," she said moments later, trying not to grit her teeth as she bit out the word, "even with a permit, we can't afford a fish tank that large. And that's just the tank. That doesn't count for actual fish that will be living there, the gravel and little scenic tank accessories, or the costs of what it would take to have that thing cleaned properly."   
  
Silence fell over them, and the hairs on the back of her neck responded by standing on end. Able to palpably _feel_ the pout that she knew had to be on his face, she glanced down at the floor and decided to change her strategy.   
  
Turning to face him, she sighed and brought a hand up to rub across her forehead. "If this fish tank is something that you honestly and truly want, then you are going to have to get a job. And I'm not talking about a small, on-again off-again dry walling job, Zechs." Suddenly feeling a tad guilty, she reached out to finger the lapel of his pastel blazer. "I'm talking about something nine-to-five. Something that is neither the part-time contractor nor the 'l337 h4xx0r' that you have been in the past. We just can't afford the tank if you don't start chipping in with the finances on a regular basis."   
  
Naturally, the blonde wasn't even listening. No, he was staring out the window, watching two pigeons fight over a crust of bread on the ledge of the neighboring building. "Relena still owes me a birthday present. You know, with her having passed out drunk and nearly drowning in a pool of her own vomit the night before and all. She still doesn't remember wearing her party hat while having her stomach pumped at the hospital, but when it's happened so many times…"   
  
Incredulous, Noin blinked. "Zechs?" When he didn't respond to his name, she started waving her hands in his face. "Over here, Blondie. We were talking about the fish tank, remember?"   
  
He gave her a look as if to ask what was her problem. "Well, duh. I was merely going to say that Relena still owes me something for my birthday, and since my parents entrusted her with the family funds…" Trailing off, he shrugged. "I could do some big-time sucking up to see if she'll buy me the tank."   
  
She honestly could not believe what was coming out of his mouth. He was going to get Relena to buy them his precious obsession? He was totally missing the point! Feeling her headache suddenly contract to focus on one single point in her skull that was either a stress knot or an aneurysm, she opened her mouth, preparing to light into him about how he needed to shut up and pay attention to her otherwise she was kick him in the-   
  
"Hey, could you two keep it down out here?"   
  
Every word that had been poised on the tip of her tongue was suddenly swallowed. Shocked to the point of speechlessness, Noin spun around to see the stoic face of Heero Yuy peeking out of his apartment door.   
  
"It's very hard to concentrate on getting to sleep with all the noise out here. If I don't rest, Hilde won't be happy when she returns."   
  
With that, the young Japanese man turned back into the apartment, shutting the door behind him to leave both Zechs and a stunned Noin - who had developed quite a twitch - in the hall.   
  
"Wow. Heero's got quite a case of the chicken pox. You know what they say is good for that? Tropical fish. They're supposed to lower the blood-pressure or something like that."   
  
_Twitch. Twitch. Twitch._   
  
"Hmph. I knew I should have known better than to expect swift service from the 'maintenance' crew."   
  
_Snap._   
  
She had not even heard the second door open, but the nasally tone of the tenor voice was instantly recognizable to one such as Noin. After all, she had lost count a very long time ago of just how many times she had heard that same voice taking the usual holier-than-thou attitude with her as she tried to fix whatever problem was at hand so as to beat it the hell out of apartment 303 as soon as possible.   
  
For once in his life, Zechs was actually paying attention to her. Or rather, to the eerily dangerous maniac grin that suddenly formed over her face. Yes, it was true. With the appearance of that oh-so-familiar voice, Lucrezia Noin had suddenly felt and instant calmness wash over her. A calmness that could be likened very easily to one such before the raging storm.   
  
If there was one thing in life that she refused it be, it was a doormat for the likes of WuFei Chang.   
  
"Why hello, WuFei. I am _so_ sorry that I am late," she said in an overly emphasized tone. "But as you'll see, I had a few jobs marked on the itinerary before yours. However, now I can devote my _total_ attention to fixing _whatever_ it is that is causing you grief."   
  
Dark eyes, skeptic of the odd maner in which she was behaving, shifted from the smiling face to that of her blonde companion and back again. One didn't have to be a psychic to feel the waves of malicious energy radiating off the maintenance woman. "Very well. As you will find, the bathroom sink is leaking. _Again._"   
  
Noin slid the mallet through one of the loops on her tool belt, willfully ignoring the condescending air in that last word. "Let me get _right_ on that, Mr. Chang." Ha. Just let the spoiled, pony-tailed brat try to complain about her being less than curteous. Yes, this time, she was going to win their long-standing rivalry if it killed her.   
  
It was common sense, or perhaps the crackle of malicious energy floating around her that made WuFei keep his mouth shut. He even stepped aside for her as she moved into the apartment, all the while having that same sickening grin on her face. Fingering one of the pouches on her belt in order to reach a washer necessary for this job, she heard the floorboards creak behind her seconds before the asian man's rich tenor murmured something to her husband.   
  
It figures that he would have something to say behind her back. Thankfully, she knew the ears of Zechs Merquise were quite deaf to anything Chang might have to say about her. 


End file.
